I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My breasts were aching with rage.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
