and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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