Whod you bang
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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