so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
