I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
