hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
