I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
