i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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