Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
