I looked at my own cervix.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
