well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
