I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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