You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize