i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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