are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
