dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
