We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
