Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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