Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Randomize
