im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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