I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
