I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
