Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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