I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
