1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
