took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
