Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
