It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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