I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
