I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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