Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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