do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
