Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
