do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm gonna fight the coyote
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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