That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
