we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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