but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
