i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
