is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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