I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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