Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The air was thick with penises
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
