p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
