"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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