i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
