i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
