she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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