East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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