Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
