It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
