The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
